The opening credits appear over a sky, growing stormy.
1 -- EXT. WADSWORTH'S CAR--TWILIGHT -- 1
WADSWORTH's car travels through the wind of an oncoming storm.
It pulls up to the gate of Hill House.
Hill House is a large, imposing mansion, looking very New England.
Wadsworth takes out a key and unlocks the gate.
He drives the car up to the front door.
2 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT DOOR -- 2
Wadsworth exits the car, holding a bag and looking at the two barking guard dogs.
The dogs approach Wadsworth . . . then jump.
Wadsworth quickly pulls a big beef bone out of the bag and hurls it to them.
The dogs trot away to gnaw on the bone as Wadsworth rolls up the bag.
Wadsworth cinches their chain so it won't allow them to reach the door.
He steps toward the door . . . and sniffs.
Wadsworth pauses and checks the bottom of his feet. Dog crap.
He looks in disgust at the dogs, who aren't bothered at all.
3 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 3
The Hall of Hill House is remarkable, elegant but not gaudy.
It is furnished in dark wood, and brass, with crystal chandeliers.
There are several doors on each side of the hall and three at the end.
To the left: Lounge and dining room.
To the right: Study, library, and billiard room.
The end: Conservatory, ball room, bathroom, and kitchen.
The stairs are located to the right.
By the staircase is the door to the basement steps.
We hear "
Shake, Rattle and Roll"
in the background.
Wadsworth opens the front door of Hill House and wipes off his foot.
He enters and hangs up his coat.
SUPERIMPOSED: NEW ENGLAND 1954
Wadsworth steps briskly down the Hall steps toward the library.
4 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 4
The library is a somewhat more comfortable room than the hall, composed of dark colors. All of the walls are covered with books, with the exception of one wall, a window.
YVETTE, a young and rather jiggly french
maid, is polishing a glass.
The music is much louder.
Wadsworth enters and turns off the record player. The music stops.
He speaks to the maid in a proper English accent.
WADSWORTH
Is everything ready?
She replies in a French accent.
YVETTE
Oui, monsieur.
WADSWORTH
You have your instructions?
Yvette nods.
Wadsworth exits.
Yvette sniffs the air, and then examines the bottom of her shoes.
5 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--KITCHEN -- 5
The kitchen is white tile, narrow. There is a meat freezer to the right.
A counter leads off to the left.
MRS. HO, the cook, is sharpening a knife.
Joseph McCarthy is speaking on the television in the background.
Wadsworth enters.
WADSWORTH
Is everything all right, Mrs. Ho?
She turns, knife in hand.
MRS. HO
Dinner will be ready at seven-thirty.
The doorbell rings.
Wadsworth exits the kitchen.
6 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT DOOR--NIGHT -- 6
A man is standing by the front door, being growled at by the dogs.
He is not comfortable.
7 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 7
Wadsworth opens the door.
WADSWORTH
Good evening.
MAN
Good evening. I don't know if--
WADSWORTH
Yes, indeed, sir, you are expected, Colonel.
May I take your coat? It is Colonel Mustard, isn't it?
MUSTARD
No, that's not my name. My name is Colonel--
WADSWORTH
Pardon me, sir, but tonight you may well feel obliged to my employer
for the use of an alias.
Mustard sniffs around and checks his shoe as Wadsworth hangs his coat.
The pair starts across the hall.
MUSTARD
And who are you, sir?
WADSWORTH
I'm Wadsworth, sir. The butler.
8 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 8
Yvette is present.
WADSWORTH
Yvette, will you attend to the Colonel and give him anything he requires.
(glances at them)
Within reason, that is.
Wadsworth exits, closing the doors behind him. The doors have books
on the back of them, and so look like a part of the wall.
MUSTARD
Oh, Wadsworth, I was--
Mustard turns to discover the doors have disappeared.
The bell rings.
9 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT DOOR -- 9
A woman dressed in black stands here.
Wadsworth opens the door.
10 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 10
WADSWORTH
Do come in, madam. You are expected.
WOMAN
Do you know who I am?
WADSWORTH
Only that you are to be known as Mrs. White.
WHITE
Yes, it said so in the letter. But, why . . . ?
Wadsworth removes her coat, with a brilliantly white inside.
Mrs. White sniffs and checks her shoe.
11 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 11
Yvette and Col. Mustard are here.
Mustard is sipping Cognac and glancing at Yvette.
The doors open, the left one into Col. Mustard.
WADSWORTH
Ah. May I introduce you? Mrs. White, this is Yvette, the maid.
(The two women react with disgust)
I see you know each other.
Mrs. White turns away as Col. Mustard emerges from behind the door.
WHITE
Hello.
MUSTARD
Hello.
12 -- EXT. ROADSIDE -- 12
A slim woman is standing by her broken down car.
An owl can be heard.
She hits the car, obviously frustrated.
Thunder roars in the distance.
The woman sees headlights a short way away. She smoothes her dress.
As the car nears, she bends over the engine and lifts a leg.
the car screeches to a halt just past her and backs up.
The woman goes to the car and peers in.
MAN'S VOICE
Want a lift?
WOMAN
(sultry)
Yes, please . . .
She gets in.
13 -- INT. MAN'S CAR -- 13
WOMAN
Thanks. I'm late for a dinner date.
MAN
Me too. Where are you going?
The woman pulls out a sheet of paper.
WOMAN
(looking at paper)
Let's see . . . Hill House. Off Route 41.
MAN
Wait a minute. Let me look at that.
(takes paper)
That's where I'm going. I got a letter like this.
They both look disturbed.
14 -- EXT. CAR -- 14
The rain has started.
The windshield wipers start as the car pulls away.
15 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 15
We see a middle aged woman.
WADSWORTH (O.S.)
And this is Mrs. Peacock.
MUSTARD
How do you do?
WHITE
Hello.
WADSWORTH
Yvette, will you go and check that dinner will be ready as soon
as all the guests have arrived?
Yvette nods.
Mrs. Peacock stares disapprovingly at Yvette's exposed cleavage.
Yvette exits the library.
The doorbell rings.
16 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT DOOR -- 16
It is now raining quite hard.
A man is standing at the door, much like Col. Mustard was.
The dogs, of course, are growling.
Wadsworth opens the door.
MAN
Is this the right address to meet Mr. Boddy?
WADSWORTH
Oh, you must be Mr. Green.
GREEN
Yes . . .
WADSWORTH
(to dogs)
Sit!
Green frantically sits on a bench by the door.
WADSWORTH
No. Not you, sir.
Mr. Green sheepishly gets up and enters the house.
17 -- INT. MAN'S CAR -- 17
WOMAN
It should be just off there.
17a -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--VIEW FROM FRONT GATE -- 17a
17b -- INT. MAN'S CAR -- 17b
MAN
That must be it.
17c -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--VIEW FROM FRONT GATE -- 17c
Lightning crashes, illuminating the house.
17d -- INT. MAN'S CAR -- 17d
WOMAN
Why is the car stopped?
MAN
It's frightened.
17e -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT GATE -- 17e
The car is started again and it rolls up the driveway.
18 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 18
Lightning crashes, making Mr. Green gulp.
19 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT--DRIVEWAY -- 19
The man and woman exit their car and run for the front door.
The man shields the woman from the now heavy rain.
MAN
What a godforsaken place!
He squeezes one of the woman's buttocks.
She shakes his hand off, looking disgusted.
The door opens, revealing Wadsworth.
WADSWORTH
Professor Plum! And Miss Scarlet. I didn't realize you were acquainted.
SCARLET
(glancing at Plum)
We weren't.
They enter.
20 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 20
The doors open to reveal Prof. Plum and Miss Scarlet.
WADSWORTH
May I present Professor Plum . . . and Miss Scarlet.
Nods all around.
Plum and Scarlet receive wine glasses from Yvette, whom Plum eyes.
Prof. Plum clinks glasses with Miss Scarlet, who looks annoyed.
WADSWORTH
Of course, since you've each been addressed by a pseudonym,
you'll have realized that nobody here is being addressed by their real name.
The guests glance around suspiciously.
21 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 21
Mrs. Ho bangs a gong once, fiercely.
22 -- INT. LIBRARY -- 22
The gong is heard a second time.
Mr. Green jumps at the sound, dumping his champagne on Mr. Peacock.
WADSWORTH
(calmly, as always)
Ah. Dinner.
GREEN
(hands Peacock his glass, starts to mop her up as she clucks)
I'm sorry . . . I'm a little accident-prone . . .
23 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 23
The guests cross to the Dining Room.
24 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--DINING ROOM -- 24
The dining room is elegant, in similar decor to the Hall, but it is
somewhat more comfortable.
However, the room is still small.
At one end, there is a door and a metal partition, both leading to the kitchen.
The guests file in.
WADSWORTH
You'll find your names beside your places. Please be seated.
The guests, except for Col. Mustard, find their places and sit.
Wadsworth sets Miss Scarlet's drink on the table, to her pleasure.
MUSTARD
(indicating the head of the table)
Is this place for you?
WADSWORTH
Oh, indeed, no, sir. I'm merely a humble butler.
MUSTARD
And what exactly do you do?
WADSWORTH
I buttle, sir.
MUSTARD
Which means what?
WADSWORTH
The butler is head of the kitchen and dining room.
I keep everything . . . tidy. That's all.
Col. Mustard attempts to continue but is interrupted by Mrs. Peacock.
PEACOCK
Well, what's all this about, butler; this dinner party?
WADSWORTH
"Ours is not to reason why . . . Ours is but to do and die"
PLUM
"Die"?
WADSWORTH
(smiling)
Merely quoting, sir, from Alfred, Lord Tennyson.
MUSTARD
(now seated next to Miss Scarlet)
Hm. I prefer Kipling, myself.
"The female of the species is more deadly than the male."
(to Scarlet)
You like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?
SCARLET
Sure, I'll eat anything.
Yvette enters carrying a tray.
YVETTE
(to Peacock)
Sharks' Fin Soup, Madame.
MUSTARD
(again indicating head)
So is this for our host?
WADSWORTH
No, sir. For the seventh guest, Mr. Boddy.
WHITE
I thought Mr. Boddy was our host?
The guests all concur.
WHITE
So who is our host, Mr. Wadsworth?
Wadsworth chuckles with a closed smile.
PLUM
Well, I want to start, while it's still hot.
PEACOCK
Oh, now shouldn't we wait for the other guest?
YVETTE
I will keep somesing warm for eem.
SCARLET
What did you have in mind, dear?
Silence.
Prof. Plum slurps soup from his spoon.
Mrs. White disapproves, then does the same.
Mustard, Scarlet, and Green stare at them, spoons poised near mouths.
They do it again.
Silence.
PEACOCK
(breathlessly)
Well, someone's got to break the ice, and it might as well be me. I mean, I'm used to being a hostess; it's part of my husband's work, and it's always difficult when a group of new friends meet together for the first time to get acquainted, so I'm perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling . . . I mean, I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here, or what I'm doing here, or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself and I'm very intrigued and oh, my, this soup's delicious isn't it?
Everyone sits bewildered.
WHITE
You say you are used to being a hostess as part of your husband's work?
PEACOCK
Yes, it's an integral part of your life when you are the wife of a. . . oh, but then I forgot we're not supposed to say who we really are, though heavens to Betsy, I don't know why.
MUSTARD
Don't you.
GREEN
I know who you are.
SCARLET
Aren't you going to tell us?
PEACOCK
(removes glasses nervously)
How do you know who I am?
GREEN
I work in Washington, too.
PLUM
Oh, so you're a politician's wife.
PEACOCK
Yes, I-I am.
MUSTARD
Well, come on, then. Who's your husband?
Suddenly, Wadsworth opens the door from the kitchen.
PEACOCK
(to Mrs. White)
So, what does your husband do?
WHITE
(almost cutting her off)
Nothing.
PEACOCK
Nothing?
WHITE
Well, he . . . just . . . lies around on his back all day.
SCARLET
Sounds like hard work to me.
Yvette, in the kitchen, opens the partition suddenly.
The noise coincides with a crash of thunder.
Mr. Green, jumpy as ever, spills his drink again, this time on Miss Scarlet.
GREEN
I'm . . . sorry. I'm afraid I'm a little accident-prone.
He starts to wipe off her upper chest.
SCARLET
Ah--watch it.
He stops.
Yvette starts serving food.
YVETTE
Excuse moi.
The guests start eating.
PEACOCK
Mmm! This is one of my favorite recipes!
WADSWORTH
I know, madam.
PEACOCK
So, what do you do in Washington, D.C., Mr. Green?
No answer.
PEACOCK
Come on, what do you do? I mean, how are we to get acquainted if we don't say anything about ourselves?
SCARLET
(angrily)
Perhaps he doesn't want to get acquainted with you.
PEACOCK
(bothered)
Well, I'm sure I don't know, but if I wasn't trying to keep the conversation going, then we would just be sitting here in an embarrassed silence.
PLUM
Are you afraid of silence, Mrs. Peacock?
PEACOCK
Yes! What? No, why?
PLUM
Oh, it just seems to me that you seem to suffer from what we call pressure of speech.
SCARLET
"We"? Who's "we"? Are you a shrink?
PLUM
I do know a little bit about psychological medicine, yes.
WHITE
Are you a doctor?
PLUM
I am, but I don't practice.
SCARLET
Practice makes perfect. Ha. I think most men need a little practice, don't you, Mrs. Peacock?
Mrs. Peacock shrugs, very uncomfortable.
WHITE
So what do you do, Professor?
PLUM
I work for UNO, the United Nations Organization.
MUSTARD
Another politician. Jesus!
PLUM
No, I work for a branch of UNO. W.H.O., the World Health Organization.
PEACOCK
Well, what is your area of special concern?
PLUM
Family planning. 
(to Mustard)
What about you, Colonel? Are you a real colonel?
MUSTARD
(seriously)
I am, sir.
SCARLET
You're not going to mention the coincidence that you also live in Washington, D.C.?
MUSTARD
How did you know that? Have we met before?
SCARLET
I've certainly seen you before. Although you may not have seen me.
GREEN
So, Miss Scarlet, does this mean that you live in Washington, too?
SCARLET
Sure do.
PEACOCK
Does anyone here not live in Washington, D.C.?
PLUM
I don't.
GREEN
Yes, but you work for the United Nations.
That's a government job. And the rest of us all live in a government town.
Anyone here not earn their living from the government in one way or another?
Col. Mustard stands suddenly.
MUSTARD
(angrily, to Wadsworth)
Wadsworth, where's our host, and why have we been brought here?
The doorbell rings.
Wadsworth exits.
We hear the door opening and Wadsworth speaks.
WADSWORTH (O.S.)
Ah! Good evening. You are eagerly awaited.
MAN (O.S.)
You lockin' me in?
I'll take the key.
WADSWORTH (O.S.)
Over my dead body, sir.
May I take your bag?
MAN (O.S.)
No. I'll leave it here 'til I need it.
WADSWORTH (O.S.)
It contains evidence, I presume?
MAN (O.S.)
Surprises, my friend. That's what it contains--surprises!
Wadsworth enters the dining room, followed by the man.
WADSWORTH
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Mr. Boddy.
BODDY
What are they all doin' here?
WADSWORTH
Eating dinner. Do sit down, Mr. Boddy.
BODDY
(sitting)
Thanks.
Yvette starts to serve him
BODDY
Nah, you can take that away, honey.
Mrs. Peacock hits the table.
PEACOCK
(angrily)
Look. I demand to know what's going on. Now why have we all been dragged up to this horrible place?
WADSWORTH
Well. I believe we all received a letter. My letter says,
"It will be to your advantage to be present on this date because a Mr. Boddy will bring to an end a certain long-standing confidential and painful financial liability." It is signed, "A friend."
GREEN
I received a similar letter.
SCARLET
So did we, didn't we. (indicating Prof. Plum)
BODDY
I also received a letter.
(Yvette starts to serve him again)
No thanks, Yvette. I just ate.
GREEN
Now, how did you know her name?
BODDY
We know each other.
(puts his hand up Yvette's (short) skirt)
Don't we, dear?
She recoils.
WADSWORTH
Forgive my curiosity, Mr. Boddy, but did your letter say the same thing?
BODDY
No.
WADSWORTH
I see . . .
(to group)
Can I interest any of you in fruit or dessert?
No response.
WADSWORTH
In that case, may I suggest we adjourn to the study for coffee and brandy, at which point I believe our unknown host will reveal his intentions.
25 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE STUDY -- 25
The study is by far the most comfortable room we've seen so far.
It is decorated in subdued tan colors.
There are several couches, a bookshelf, a table with drinks, and a desk.
The guests enter and look around for their host.
GREEN
Well, there's no one here.
WADSWORTH
(to the guests in general)
Please help yourself to brandy and be seated.
Wadsworth goes to the desk and takes a manilla envelope.
It reads For Wadsworth
Open AFTER DINNER
SCARLET
Mind if I smoke?
Prof. Plum, seated next to Miss Scarlet, lights her cigarette.
Wadsworth opens the envelope.
He peruses the contents.
WADSWORTH
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm instructed to tell you what you all have in common with each other. Unless you would care to do the honors, Mr. Boddy?
BODDY
Why me? They know who I am?
WADSWORTH
I don't think so.
You've never identified yourself to them, I believe.
Mr. Boddy stands suddenly.
BODDY
It's a hoax! I suggest we all leave.
He takes off out the study door.
WADSWORTH
(in pursuit)
I'm sorry, sir, you cannot leave this house!
26 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 26
Mr. Boddy goes to the front door.
Wadsworth follows, and he is followed by the other guests.
BODDY
No? Who's gonna stop me?
WADSWORTH
There's no way out.
(Mr. Boddy tries the front door. It's locked.)
All the windows have bars, all the doors are locked.
BODDY
This is an outrage! You can't hold us prisoner!
The guests, in confusion, agree.
WADSWORTH
(shouting over the din)
Ladies and gentlemen, please! Please return to the study.
Everything will be explained.
The guests file unhappily back into the study.
Mr. Boddy walks past Wadsworth toward the rear of the hall.
WADSWORTH
(to Mr. Boddy)
You too, Mr. Boddy.
Boddy starts running.
WADSWORTH
Other way!
He pursues Mr. Boddy.
27 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--CONSERVATORY -- 27
The conservatory is humid, with plants all around.
Three of the walls are brick, and the fourth is glass,
leading to the outside.
The rain can be heard and seen, against the glass.
Mr. Boddy runs in, picks up a brick and prepares to throw it through the glass.
Wadsworth enters.
WADSWORTH
You can't get out that way.
BODDY
Why not? It's only glass!
Suddenly, a vicious Doberman jumps at the glass, barking and snarling.
Boddy drops the brick.
28 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE STUDY -- 28
The guests are already present.
Wadsworth and Mr. Boddy enter.
Wadsworth takes up his envelope again.
WADSWORTH
Ladies and gentlemen, you all have one thing in common.
You're all being blackmailed.
For some considerable time, all of you have been paying what you can afford and, in some cases, more than you can afford to someone who threatens to expose you.
And none of you know who's blackmailing you, do you?
PEACOCK
Oh, please! I've never heard anything so ridiculous.
I mean, nobody could blackmail me. My life is an open book--I've never done anything wrong.
WADSWORTH
Anybody else wish to deny it?
The guests look at each other, but no one responds.
WADSWORTH
Very well. As everyone here is in the same boat, there's no harm in my revealing some details. And my instructions are to do so. Thank you, Yvette.
The maid, so dismissed, leaves.
Mr. Boddy's eyes follow her out.
WHITE
Don't you think you might spare us this humiliation?
WADSWORTH
I'm sorry. Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry, specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
PLUM
Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
WADSWORTH
So your work has not changed.
But you don't practice medicine at the U.N.
His license to practice has been lifted, correct?
SCARLET
Why? What did he do?
WADSWORTH
You know what doctors aren't allowed to do with their lady patients?
SCARLET
Yeah?
WADSWORTH
Well, he did.
SCARLET
Ha!
PEACOCK
Oh, how disgusting.
WADSWORTH
(swooping down on her)
Are you making moral judgements, Mrs. Peacock?
How, then, do you justify taking bribes in return for delivering your husband Senator Peacock's vote to certain lobbyists?
PEACOCK
My husband is a paid consultant. There is nothing wrong with that!
WADSWORTH
Not if it's publicly declared, perhaps.
But if the payment is delivered by slipping used greenbacks in plain envelopes under the door of the men's room, how would you describe that transaction?
SCARLET
I'd say it stinks.
PEACOCK
Well, how would you know. When were you in that men's room?
PLUM
So it's true!
PEACOCK
(standing)
No, it's a vicious lie!
WADSWORTH
I'm sure we're all glad to hear that.
But you've been paying blackmail for over a year now to keep that story out of the papers.
WHITE
(to Peacock)
Well, I am willing to believe you.
I too am being blackmailed for something I didn't do.
GREEN
Me too.
MUSTARD
And me.
SCARLET
Not me.
WADSWORTH
You're not being blackmailed?
SCARLET
Oh, I'm being blackmailed, all right. But I did what I'm being blackmailed for.
PLUM
(with interest)
What did you do?
SCARLET
Well, to be perfectly frank, I run a specialized hotel and a telephone service which provide gentlemen with the company of a young lady for a short while.
PLUM
(very interested)
Oh, yeah?
(pulling out a pen and notepad)
What's the phone number?
Miss Scarlet rolls her eyes.
GREEN
So how did you know Colonel Mustard works in Washington?
Is he one of your clients?
MUSTARD
(incredulous)
Certainly not!
GREEN
I was asking Miss Scarlet.
MUSTARD
(to Scarlet)
Well, you tell him it's not true!
SCARLET
It's not true.
PLUM
Is that true?
SCARLET
No, it's not true.
GREEN
Ha-hah! So it is true!
WADSWORTH
A double negative!
MUSTARD
Double "negative"? You mean you have--
(whispers to Scarlet)
Photographs?
WADSWORTH
That sounds like a confession to me. In fact, the double negative has led to proof positive. I'm afraid you gave yourself away.
MUSTARD
Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
WADSWORTH
You don't need any help from me, sir.
MUSTARD
That's right!
Mustard realizes what he just said.
PLUM
But seriously, I don't see what's so terrible about Colonel Mustard visiting a house of ill fame.
(puts his hand on Scarlet's leg)
Most soldiers do, don't they?
SCARLET
(standing)
Oh, please.
WADSWORTH
But he holds a sensitive security post in the pentagon.
And, Colonel, you drive a very expensive car for someone who lives on a colonel's pay.
MUSTARD
I don't.
I came into money during the war, when I lost my mommy and daddy.
Wadsworth is puzzled, but soon recovers.
WADSWORTH
Mrs. White, you've been paying our friend the blackmailer ever since your husband died under, shall we say, mysterious circumstances.
Miss Scarlet laughs.
WHITE
Why is that funny?
SCARLET
I see. That's why he was lying on his back. In his coffin.
WHITE
I didn't kill him.
MUSTARD
Then why are you paying the blackmailer?
WHITE
I don't want a scandal, do I?
We had had a very humiliating public confrontation, he was deranged . . . lunatic. He didn't actually seem to like me very much, he had threatened to kill me in public.
SCARLET
Why would he want to kill you in public?
WADSWORTH
I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.
SCARLET
Oh.
And was that his final word on the matter?
WHITE
Being killed is pretty final, wouldn't you say?
WADSWORTH
And yet he was the one who died, not you, Mrs. White, not you.
SCARLET
What did he do for a living?
WHITE
He was a scientist. Nuclear physics.
SCARLET
What was he like?
WHITE
He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man.
I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died.
But he was found dead at home. His head had been cut off and so had his . . . you know . . .
The men in the room cross their legs.
WHITE
I had been out all evening at the movies.
SCARLET
Do you miss him?
WHITE
Well, it's a matter of life after death.
Now that he's dead, I have a life.
WADSWORTH
But he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.
WHITE
But that was his job. He was an illusionist.
WADSWORTH
But he never reappeared.
WHITE
(shrugging)
He wasn't a very good illusionist.
Mr. Green clears his throat and stands.
GREEN
I have something to say.
(pauses)
I'm not going to wait for Wadsworth here to unmask me.
I work for the state department. And I am a homosexual.
Wadsworth, wide-eyed, looks for Green's file.
Mrs. Peacock clucks in disgust.
GREEN
I feel no personal shame or guilt about this. But I must keep it a secret or I will lose my job on security grounds.
(pauses again, looking embarrassed)
. . . Thank you.
Mr. Green sits back down next to Prof. Plum, who rapidly stands and walks away.
PLUM
Well, that just leaves Mr. Boddy.
SCARLET
What's your little secret?
WADSWORTH
His secret?
Oh, hadn't you guessed?
He's the one who's blackmailing you all.
Lightning crashes.
Mr. Boddy looks very satisfied.
MUSTARD
You bastard!
The guests advance on Mr. Boddy as he stands.
Col. Mustard challenges Mr. Boddy to fight, boxing-style.
MUSTARD
Put 'em up!
Mr. Boddy steps on the Colonel's toes and pokes him in the eyes.
GREEN
Gentlemen . . .
MUSTARD
If you can't fight fairly, don't fight at all!
BODDY
Calls me a bastard!
Mr. Green and the others try to separate them as Colonel Mustard recovers and Mr. Boddy goes for him.
Mrs. White decides to take matters into her own hands and knees Mr. Boddy in the crotch.
GREEN
Was that necessary, Mrs. White?
WADSWORTH
Wait! Wait! The police are coming!
The guests disapprove.
WADSWORTH
Listen! Blackmail depends on secrecy. You've all admitted how he's been able to blackmail you. All you have to do is tell the police, he'll be convicted, and your troubles will be over.
BODDY
(standing, in pain)
's not so easy.
You'll never tell the police.
WADSWORTH
Then I shall. I have evidence in my possession, and this conversation is being tape recorded.
28a -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--BILLIARD ROOM -- 28a
Yvette in the Billiard room, drinking cognac and listening to a reel to reel tape recorder that is recording.
GREEN (Voice Only)
Point of order--tape recordings are not admissible evidence!
28b -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE STUDY -- 28b
The study.
General confusion ensues.
WADSWORTH
Ladies and gentlemen, the police will be here in about
(checks his watch)
forty-five minutes.
Tell them the truth, and Mr. Boddy will be behind bars.
Mr. Boddy goes for the hall.
Wadsworth stops him.
WADSWORTH
Where are you going this time?
BODDY
I think I can help them make up their minds.
Can I just get my little bag from the hall?
Boddy exits.
28c -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 28c
The Hall.
Mr. Boddy gets his bags from by the front door.
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